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SelfLove

Short & Sweet: Healing Negative Self Talk and Self Hatred

A big part of the transformational process is challenging negative self talk (mean and nasty internal dialogue) again and again to look at and to cut through the roots and causes of self hatred. I have been struck lately by several clients’ acceptance of negative self talk and judgments – what they describe as self-judgment […]

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Go Beyond Confidence Building with Unrelenting Kindness and Encouragement

It is important to recognize our hidden beliefs about our basic nature. What’s the bottom line — do we think we are complete or incomplete? Are we full of inherent value and goodness? Or possibly without much value, flawed, and somehow needing to be improved? If we think we have to create improvement or value in […]

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Are You Working Hard . . . to Accomplish the Wrong Goals?

Have you ever worked really hard to accomplish a goal and when you did accomplish it you felt a big let down? This kind of disillusionment is very common. Ambitious and dynamic people can have a string of successes, each on as empty as the one before. When this happens it can lead to deep […]

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Ego – The Fearful Sense of Separation

Lately I’ve had a number of people come into my office talking about ego. It got me thinking. All problems arise from this sense of limited fearful separation — what we call ‘ego.’ I started contemplating this daily on my morning walks. I examined my fearful concerns and saw that my problems and suffering were […]

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Gratitude for the Vastness of Our Blessings

Last year about this time my wife and I saw the movie, Lincoln, directed by Steven Spielberg. November 19 is the 151st anniversary of the Gettysburg Address (1863). Watching this excellent portrayal, I was struck by the enormous sacrifice millions of people made for the sake of freedom and human dignity, all mixed in with […]

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Speedy Mind, Busy Mind: How to Generate Desire and Appreciation

In my previous post A Life of Desire vs. a Life of Appreciation, we considered how an ordinary challenge can present the opportunity to find True Magic if you shift your focus from achieving a desire to practicing appreciation. We discussed the example of someone assuming he had to know the right techniques to do away […]

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Zen and the Art of Spiritual Bypassing: Rethinking a Western Culture of Discipline

In a Japanese legend, the great Dharma Chan(Zen) master Bodhidharma cut off his eyelids because he fell asleep in meditation. According to Chinese legend his main disciple Dazu Huikecut off his arm to convince Bodhidharma he was sincere and worthy to receive the teachings. In the 60’s many of us new Zen students of Shunryo […]

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Everything That Distresses You is Irrelevant! Overcoming Victim Mentality

This is Part 4 of a series I’m calling, ‘Everything That Distresses You is Irrelevant.’  This series will be especially helpful for helping you to actually enjoy, and deal creatively with, the challenges that being around family can bring mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can also check out the other posts in this series: Part 1, Part 2, and Part […]

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Everything That Distresses You is Irrelevant! The Origin of Fearful Thinking

This is the third installment of this series of posts: ‘Everything That Distresses You is Irrelevant.’ The 4 main issues that cause us needless distress are: Confusion about Desire vs. Attachment – Part 1 Limited Self-Concepts – Part 2 Not Recognizing the Nature and Origin of Fear-based Thinking –  Part 3 Confusion about Cause and Effect, or Victim Mentality – […]

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