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Why Mindfulness in Relationships Helps You Make Better Choices

A couple came to see me once, and they were very grumpy with each other. They’d had a big fight the previous week, and it was so bad that the woman’s husband had actually packed his bags and was ready to go out the door. I said, “Wow! What was the fight about?” The husband […]

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How Not to Eat Hypnotically – Mindful Eating for Physical and Emotional Health

I’ve often heard people say that we eat mindlessly. This isn’t quite accurate, though. Actually, while we eat, we spend most of our time daydreaming. This daydreaming is a form of hypnosis. Under hypnosis you can become so focused on the contents of your mind that you lose awareness of the external environment. You can […]

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10 Wrong Ideas That Can Ruin Your Mindfulness Practice

It seems like everybody is practicing mindfulness these days. Mindfulness is taking off! It’s showing up in corporate boardrooms, college classrooms, hospice care, and locker rooms. This is a wonderful development because, practiced correctly, mindfulness holds tremendous benefits for us as individuals, for our family and co-workers, and for our communities. There is some confusion, […]

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What’s Love (and Empathy) Got to Do with Relationships? A Valentine’s Day Contemplation

What would it look like to give love without expecting anything in return? Isn’t that only for saints, or monks . . . or worse, won’t it mean submitting and becoming a doormat? Not at all. Giving unconditional love arises from a sense of your own unconditional OK-ness. It may be necessary to do some […]

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Easy Good Habits: Put Your Attention Where Your Heart Is

Getting stuck in anxious energy and busyness, but getting nowhere. Does this sound familiar? I call it “running in place,” and it’s a sure sign that I’ve stopped giving myself love and compassion. When you notice yourself doing this, don’t think, “I have to stop this.” Instead, think, “Oh! I’m running-in-place! I must be denying […]

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Easy Good Habits: Soften Up with Kindness and Compassion

I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little. So . . . here’s a radical three-part notion: 1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind. 2. When […]

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More About “What DO Thoughts Think About?”

I want to share some additional perspectives about my previous blog, “What DO Thoughts Think About?” “Thoughts think about other thoughts” is a subtle topic; it’s importance can easily be missed, and working with it can seem boring and pointless in the beginning. In order to experience the power of this insight, the first step […]

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What Do Thoughts Think About?

Want to make someone pause? Ask them, “What do thoughts think about?” Ask yourself. Try to think about something that is not a thought — if you can, let me know! Why is this important? Well, most significantly it means you cannot think about yourself! You can only think about thoughts about your IDEA of […]

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Short & Sweet: Healing Negative Self Talk and Self Hatred

A big part of the transformational process is challenging negative self talk (mean and nasty internal dialogue) again and again to look at and to cut through the roots and causes of self hatred. I have been struck lately by several clients’ acceptance of negative self talk and judgments – what they describe as self-judgment […]

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