Lisa Saubolle is creator of The Bodymind Journey, a heart centered approach to healing and self-discovery. She is a hypnotherapist and Certified TAT® (Tapas Acupressure Technique) Trainer, with a background in energy healing and body-centered methods. Her blog shares her personal experience and the life-changing lessons she learned from her contemplation of them. A great example of diligence and compassion to oneself! Enjoy:
No More Self-Improvement
For most of my adult life I was a self-improvement junkie. I can’t even begin to count the hours (in the thousands) and the amount of money I spent on books, products, and trainings over the last 25 plus years.
At first it came in spurts (when the pain got bad enough), but eventually it became a way of life with me. Other people took vacations; I worked on myself.
At some point I began to support other people who were also looking to feel better and live happier lives and I loved it!! Except that I put more pressure on myself to “be the best I could be” in order to help others. Reading about perfectionism, I saw some ways that label fit; so I started working on my perfectionism – another way I could improve! More learning, more seeking, more work.
Not good enough.
Though in many ways life was feeling better and I had worked through some really big things like panic attacks and various forms of not-so-healthy behavior, I began to gradually realize that in all my efforts to learn, grow and develop, I still didn’t feel good about myself. It seemed natural to think of myself as a person in need of constant improvement, and my inner “coach” kept whispering “you can do better, I know you can!” What’s wrong with wanting to be a better person??!
But I had a growing realization that whatever I did, whoever I was, it would never be “enough.” I knew I “should” love and accept myself but had no idea how that would be possible, or what it would feel like.
Then something big happened.
One day as I was trying to “shift” my emotional state (I was working with Law of Attraction back then), I heard a little voice from somewhere inside say “you hate me!” It was so unexpected and felt so real (I’m not prone to hearing inner voices), that it completely captured my attention. My first impulse was to reassure “it” (whatever “it” was) and as I sat there, I became aware of something in me that was in tremendous pain and feeling very kind of “squashed down.” The whole right side of my body felt contracted.
This pivotal event started an amazing journey for me. I learned to listen more to what was really going on inside instead of just trying change it; I realized that I had been blind to my own suffering because I was so identified with a part of me that was pushing for constant improvement and change.
A different way
As I worked with things in a different way, I began to come in contact with something in me that was beyond the conflict, beyond the history, beliefs and the rest of it; something that really felt more like ME. From this place, I could see the stuck places, the barriers and know it was just “stuff” and NOT who I was.
I saw that it’s not about self-improvement — it’s more like self-unfolding and development. There’s nothing wrong with personal development, growth and healing — it’s our inborn tendency to move towards more wholeness. It’s the WAY that we do this, the way we approach ourselves (and each other), that makes all the difference. It’s also a recognition that there is something beyond our emotions, reactions, thoughts and the conditions of our life, that is authentic and who we really are; we may not be in touch with it, or may glimpse it only rarely, but it’s there.
Things to consider:
- Are there things about you and your life that are just “unacceptable?”
- How do you go about making changes?
- Could you imagine treating your own feelings and your own self with as much care and understanding as you would offer a hurting child or animal?
- What if it were possible to change, grow and experience a fulfilling life without acting from a place of “I have to” or dragging yourself kicking and screaming into uncomfortable territory?
Copyright 2010 Lisa Saubolle all rights reserved
Thanks, Lisa! Remember, visit Lisa’ website The Bodymind Journey and see what she has to offer!
In the spirit of affirming self-respect, your basic goodness, and your right to exuberantly express yourself, download this Mp3 Erase Performance Anxiety – Share Your Gifts & Joy With the World! Now!
Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success,confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being.