What can we do when we feel stuck? I am amazed at how easy it is for me to forget that my mind is creating my “stuckness” not the world. My mind is very good at pointing the finger at the world however — very good at not being noticed as the culprit.
And even when I wake up a bit and realize it is my mind that is disturbing me, not the world, it often seems a chore to change my state. My mind sometimes wants to hold onto its grumpiness and at times it even seems infectious.
I have a few ways to change perspective that help me shake my mind out of its rut. One is recalling an interview with a World War II veteran who suffered terrible hardships and danger in his tour, including seeing most of his buddies get killed. When he came back home had several ups and downs in his life and business. He had to begin from scratch several times. The interviewer asked what kept him going. He said, ” I wake up every morning and think, ‘No one is shooting at me, so this is a good day!'” Remembering this can get me going.
Another change of perspective that is often very beneficial is to kind of surrender to my mind’s anxious thinking. I just say, “OK” and imagine myself in the worst case scenario. Ironically, this often dissipates the anxiety. My theory is that fearful thinking freezes your brain so you can’t think clearly.
By surrendering to the fear and imagining yourself relaxing into the worst case scenario, you are no longer afraid because you have arrived where you were afraid of arriving. (For example you can be afraid of getting into a fight, but once you are fighting, there is no more fear.) No more fear means your brain can think clearly again, and you recognize resources and options and a more realistic assessment of your situation.
In my client work I have often listened to people speak at length about their mental struggle with what they fear is going to happen to them. At some point, I invite them to imagine the fearful thing has happened – “really be there!” Often, after a few minutes of silence with a far off look in their gaze, they say, “Well, that would never happen, but if it did, I’d deal with it.”
Yes! Their brain freeze melted and they recognized favorable resources and conditions they had been overlooking.
May all beings be happy and free! May our compassion for all beings, ourselves included, continue to increase!
Often, our habit of fearful thinking comes from our childhood. Her are a couple of great CD products to help you deal with old habits of fearful thinking:
Jack Elias, CHT is founder and director of the Institute for Therapeutic Learning in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of Finding True Magic: Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP, a book and course which blends NLP training modalities with philosophical traditions of both East and West. Jack offers private sessions in Lucid Heart Therapy and Life Coaching. He offers live trainings and distance learning trainings in Transpersonal Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy/NLP. Jack also presents keynotes and other programs to teach audiences how to use the techniques of Transpersonal Hypnotherapy/NLP to achieve success, confidence, and a consistent sense of well-being. Book Jack Elias to speak to your group or organization.