Distress, worry . . . irrelevant!? Most people are interested and puzzled by this proposition – some angered! How can I not be worried or distressed about being unemployed, sick, or because of a significant loss? I find in working with clients that the main causes of confusion about the needlessness of distress relate to 4 […]
These instructions were created for people learning to conduct a hypnotherapy session to eradicate a client’s phobia, but you can just as easily use them to work with a phobia (yours or someone else’s) on your own. Done with respect and kind attention, with trust and rapport, it is extremely quick and effective. And best […]
It’s no secret that our personal associations with the holidays can bring us sorrow as well as joy. Extremes of happiness and sadness may have good cause. In my case, wonderful memories of warm celebrations filled with great food, gifts, and rowdy cousins to play with, are tempered by the memory of my 20th year: after […]
It seems like everybody is practicing mindfulness these days. Mindfulness is taking off! It’s showing up in corporate boardrooms, college classrooms, hospice care, and locker rooms. This is a wonderful development because, practiced correctly, mindfulness holds tremendous benefits for us as individuals, for our family and co-workers, and for our communities. There is some confusion, […]
Getting stuck in anxious energy and busyness, but getting nowhere. Does this sound familiar? I call it “running in place,” and it’s a sure sign that I’ve stopped giving myself love and compassion. When you notice yourself doing this, don’t think, “I have to stop this.” Instead, think, “Oh! I’m running-in-place! I must be denying myself love and compassion.”
Then if you like, you can put your hand to your heart as you do in the Hands Over Heart Technique I mentioned in this earlier post. . . .
In the last post, I mentioned making the conscious effort to soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage). Were you surprised to see “courage” in there?
Did it surprise you to think that softening your heart, consciously becoming more patient and kind through consistent effort, takes courage?
If it did surprise you, please consider that it is an act of courage when you resist the fearful habitual thought patterns that keep you stuck, or anxiously running-in-place inside yourself, unable to move forward.
It is possible to make major shifts — to easily make true and lasting positive change in any area of your life — when you call on the courage to be kind.
I believe that the start of a new year is a great time to shake things up a little.
So . . . here’s a radical three-part notion:
1. When you soften your heart with patience and kindness (and therefore courage), positive thoughts are able to make a greater impact on your mind.
2. When you strengthen your positive thoughts, it automatically becomes much easier to change your perspective and make things work.
3. Therefore, the most powerful thing you can do to create a positive mind-state — the state from which flows all creativity, health and wellbeing, as well as worldly success — is to allow your heart to soften.
How do you soften up? You’re really going to enjoy this . . .
I want to share some additional perspectives about my previous blog, “What DO Thoughts Think About?” “Thoughts think about other thoughts” is a subtle topic; it’s importance can easily be missed, and working with it can seem boring and pointless in the beginning. In order to experience the power of this insight, the first step […]
Want to make someone pause? Ask them, “What do thoughts think about?” Ask yourself. Try to think about something that is not a thought — if you can, let me know! Why is this important? Well, most significantly it means you cannot think about yourself! You can only think about thoughts about your IDEA of […]
A big part of the transformational process is challenging negative self talk (mean and nasty internal dialogue) again and again to look at and to cut through the roots and causes of self hatred.
I have been struck lately by several clients’ acceptance of negative self talk and judgments – what they describe as self-judgment and self-hatred. Along with this mind state comes the fear of criticism from others, as if it was a fact of nature that they are deserving of just about any negative judgment that comes their way. . . .