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Everything That Distresses You is Irrelevant! Desire vs. Attachment (Part 1)

Distress, worry . . . irrelevant!? Most people are interested and puzzled by this proposition – some angered! How can I not be worried or  distressed about being unemployed, sick, or because of a significant loss? I find in working with clients that the main causes of confusion about the needlessness of distress relate to 4 […]

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How to Throw Away Hurt Feelings So They Don’t Come Back

If we feel upset when things go wrong or something unpleasant and unexpected happens, we’re not exactly unique in this world. But if we develop the habit of holding on to these upset feelings, we may resort to drinking too much, using drugs, or overeating (using food like a drug) in a futile effort to try and feel better. We don’t even […]

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How Not to Double Down on Your Anxiety

Do you ever get an anxious feeling . . .  followed by a fearful thought that something must be going wrong? Then the thought that something is wrong makes you feel more intense anxiety . . .  which makes you believe the fearful thought even more? Maybe you start repeating this thought to yourself, or elaborating […]

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How to Use Hypnosis NLP to Overcome Fear: The Fast Phobia Cure Process

These instructions were created for people learning to conduct a hypnotherapy session to eradicate a client’s phobia, but you can just as easily use them to work with a phobia (yours or someone else’s) on your own. Done with respect and kind attention, with trust and rapport, it is extremely quick and effective. And best […]

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How to Enjoy Letting Go of Anger and Other Inner Trolls, in 4 Steps

Anger comes from a creeping sense that we are small and in some way lacking. We’re usually unconscious of this sense of smallness, but it makes us cling to what I call “lower self qualities.” If we are to let go of these troublesome qualities, we need to be clear about what they are.  Instead […]

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8 Ways to Develop Mindfulness and Awareness, plus One Imagination Game

Developing mindfulness and awareness can be like riding whitewater rapids. It’s easy to talk about, but actually doing it requires inner strength, stamina, and a firm resolve. The way to develop this inner strength and stamina is to take every opportunity to practice it, bit by bit. In this post I’ll tell you eight of […]

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How Your Own Questions can Teach You the Art & Skill of Therapeutic Inquiry

More than anyone else, my Buddhist teachers taught me how to relate to questions and questioning. They taught me the art of inquiry which led to what I now call Therapeutic Inquiry. This kind of inquiry is the most important skill I teach to my clients, as well as to students in the Finding True […]

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Why Mindfulness in Relationships Helps You Make Better Choices

A couple came to see me once, and they were very grumpy with each other. They’d had a big fight the previous week, and it was so bad that the woman’s husband had actually packed his bags and was ready to go out the door. I said, “Wow! What was the fight about?” The husband […]

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My Story of Jack Elias

For a long time I’ve wanted to write my own story of Jack Elias. Because as loud and playful and boisterous as Jack is known to be – he keeps his greatest accomplishments to himself. And I guess this is as it should be. But I always wish, as students and clients come and go from Jack’s home office (only […]

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My Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Anxiety

Anxiety — What is it good for? Absolutely Nothin! I am writing to myself as much as to you today. Because over the years I’ve noticed there’s a sneaky quality to  my anxiety. Whenever I notice it sneaking up, I’ve developed certain ways of talking to myself, to rouse the courage to challenge this self-defeating attitude. Here are my […]

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